Hi mum, yesterday was St Patrick's day, it made me smile remembering how you used to share your memory of Dad enjoying St Patrick's day but not the way you intended. I bet you were reminding him yesterday, I bet he had a smile on his face and you were both laughing, that makes me happy to think you are both together. I know you used to worry about him being there for you, you used to half joke but of course he was. Through all your ups and downs, through good and bad times you were together and loved each other always. I know I have said to you before but I so wish I could see you both when you were younger, when you had no worries or cares and just had each other to look after. Looking after us all became your priority, even when you were so poorly all you cared about was looking after everyone keeping us safe. Thank you for teaching me to love always, to be there for others not just in good times but most important in their hour of need. To always give the best of yourself to those you love. I realise that you sacrificed so much of you for others. I looked at your phone the other day, I was looking at your messages you sent and received. You always, always sent such beautiful loving messages, you truly cared and never failed to show that even when you didnt get that in return. I look back on our messages and I'm so happy we shared all we did, I look at the messages from the girls and I'm so happy they truly showed their love for you, how could they not you were and still are the best nan in the world. One day if I am blessed I hope I can be as good a nan as you, a nan that loved unconditionally, a nan who was always there. I can see Dad saying what about me girl and you laughing, of course he was the best grandad. The love you both had for your grand children was beautiful. How you used to look after them when they were younger, dad saying don't tell your mother when he would give the girls too many biscuits, crisps or fizzy drinks. Your door was always open mum, from when we were small, friends always were welcome. As we grew older they came more often, there was a time the house was never empty. When the grand children came you always was there to baby sit, to love and care. That open door continued mum, you always was so happy to have visitors, everyone was welcome, in fact you were never happier than seeing people. That's why loneliness affected you so badly mum and I'm so sorry for that. I love you mum with all my heart, as broken as it is. I will always wonder if I could have done more for you, if I could have been there more, if I could have shown you more how much I love you. I guess that makes me even more like you because that's exactly what you would say. I'm proud to be like you mum, I'm proud to be like dad too because he too had a beautiful heart, he too cared about others and was there in their hours of need. He cared about you and his only worry when he was in his last days was that you were looked after when he wasnt there. I hope we did you proud dad xxx
Debbie
18th March 2021